


In Your Dreams

by estriel



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 2019 Fantasy on Ice, Drama, F/M, First Kiss, M/M, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 12:16:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19295563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: The dreams Javi has been having tell Marina all she needs to know. Before FAoI, she puts her foot down.





	In Your Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UrbanCentauress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UrbanCentauress/gifts).



> For Agnes. <3 Thank you - for being a beautiful soul, the best reviewer, the mirror for my thoughts and ideas. <3

The first time it happens, Marina assumes Javi is having a nightmare. He’s tossing in bed beside her, sweaty and mumbling under his breath. Then he gasps a name, a single name, a name Marina is almost sick of hearing. But then he goes quiet, back to peaceful sleep, and she decides to let it go.

It happens again, and again, though, and by the third time, she sees the dreams for what they are: the way Javi’s breathing quickens, the way his fingers curl and grasp the sheets, the telltale bulge in his shorts.

She says nothing of it in the mornings because Javi doesn’t seem to remember talking in his sleep, or what his dreams even are – she found out that much by gently prodding, inquiring half jokingly, teasing.

Then one night, Javi wakes up in the middle of one of those dreams, eyes flashing as he looks at her in the darkness. He kisses her roughly, hotly, hands roaming over her skin under her thin silky nightdress. It feels good, so good, so unlike their usual love-making, that she almost forgets what had prompted this feverish passion...

Then Javi moans, wild and uncontrolled.

Just two syllables, the shape of a name she has come to resent as it made its appearance night after night, yanked out of Javi’s subconsciousness by whatever fantasies play out beneath his closed eyelids. 

_ Yuzu. _

*

She puts her foot down before Javi leaves for Japan. She doesn’t want to see it anymore – the pictures, the videos plastered all over social media after a joint appearance. Javi’s hands on  _ his  _ body, cupping  _ his _ cheek, resting in the small of  _ his  _ back, pulling  _ him _ into quick, tight, all-too-intimate hugs, Javi’s smiles just for  _ him _ , eyes bright and twinkling and fixated on  _ his _ mouth as he speaks. She doesn’t need to read the comments all over Twitter and Instagram to know what people are saying, what people are thinking.

She remembers how she had shown the Olympics footage to a friend who knew nothing of figure skating, so proud and happy for the opportunity to showcase her Olympic medalist of a boyfriend. They had watched Javi’s performance together. Then Marina had made the mistake of showing her friend the medal ceremony footage as well, eager to talk about Javi’s achievement, of his dream finally coming true.

To this day, she remembers how her friend had looked at her, puzzled, a small frown on her face. “Who’s that guy?” she had asked Marina, and Marina knew immediately she was speaking of  _ him _ .

“Javi’s main rival. They used to train together,” she had said dryly, her lips a tight line. “They’re… friendly.”

Her friend had nodded at that, a curt little incline of the head, but Marina knew what she was thinking, what she was wondering about. It was something Marina had wondered about, too, in her darkest moments. She didn’t like seeing it written all over somebody else’s face, though, having her suspicions confirmed like that. It was not  _ her _ being blindly, irrationally jealous. It was  _ them _ .

She doesn’t want to see any of it anymore, and she tells Javi as much. She confesses how much it hurts her, seeing him and Yuzu being so close – too close! She tells him how tired she is of reading about what the fans tag as ‘Yuzuvier’ online, a special name for that very special connection everyone with eyes can see.

Javi listens somberly, nodding as she speaks. “We’re just friends, you know,” he says and laughs, a nervous, brief little sound. It sounds fake.

“Promise me!” she insists, clutching Javi’s hand as if she could hold him back, keep him here with her with that white-knuckled grip alone.

“Of course,” Javi says quietly. He pulls his hand out of hers to brush her hair away before gently kissing her forehead. “No Yuzu.” He smiles… but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

*

Maybe Javi meant it, Marina thinks as Fantasy on Ice gets underway at the other end of the world. There are pictures – Yuzu in selfies, Yuzu on the ice, Yuzu in practice, Yuzu backstage goofing around with the other skaters. No Javi, though, not anywhere near him.

There’s nothing.

Marina allows herself to hope.

Hope that maybe this will last. That maybe she has won, in the end.

***

Javi stares at himself in the mirror. He’s still in his  _ Prometo _ outfit, skates still on his feet, and he knows he is running late. He should be changing, preparing for the finale.

Just another moment, he tells himself. He runs a hand over his face, taken aback yet again by the unfamiliar smoothness of his chin where he had shaved off the goatee on a whim this morning.

Just another minute. He needs some quiet, a moment of peace before he can go out and perform once again. His mind has been swirling ever since the beginning of the tour.

Marina’s unusual request, the way her eyes had been pleading with him, is tugging him in a direction he is not comfortable with, forcing him to hold back, to step away from what has felt so natural for years. He feels like he can’t even be fully himself.

He misses Yuzu. He has been missing him for months. He misses the way they always connected, skating together, bound by the ice and their shared passion for it. He misses the easy rapport that had always been there, even during the fiercest of competitions. Misses the way they made each other laugh, the silly games and the hilarity in gala and show practices. He misses the way Yuzu seemed to get him without words, how just a glance would be enough sometimes.

He misses the way Yuzu felt in his arms, too, whenever they hugged. The way Yuzu smells, herbal and clean.

Javi rubs at his face once again, remembering the dreams he’s been having. He wonders if it is possible to miss things he never even had in the first place. Yuzu’s lips on his, Yuzu’s skin under his hands, Yuzu’s muscular body moving against his in ways it never has – and never will, Javi reminds himself.

Javi has to admit that their relationship – their simple friendship – has changed in recent years. It had started after the second time he beat Yuzu at Worlds. The realization had hit him like a freight train then – that he wanted to protect Yuzu, wanted to hold him and kiss away the pain writ so large across his face. That he had  _ feelings _ for Yuzu that went beyond mere friendship.

Javi suspects Yuzu had realized it, too, at that point. He had taken a step back, distancing himself in just the same way Javi had. It worked for a while, but it was a strain, like constantly forcing two strong magnets apart.

The door of the restroom opens, and in strides Yuzu.

“Javi,” he says, staring at him across the small space.

“I’m sorry, I’m leaving, I just needed a moment –“ Javi starts and makes to walk out, push past Yuzu,  _ flee.  _ Yuzu catches his shoulder.

“Javi – why you avoiding me?” he asks and his hand slides down Javi’s arm, stopping halfway to grip Javi’s bicep.

“I’m not –“ Javi starts weakly, heart beating in his throat.

“You are.”

Yuzu looks hurt, dark eyes so open Javi feels like he can see straight into his soul, and glimpse the confusion and betrayal there, like a thorn constantly nagging at Yuzu. Javi knows he is wondering what he did to make Javi act this way, always seeking fault in his own person first.

Javi sighs. “I’m sorry,” he says and allows himself to look at Yuzu fully, facing him, standing close the way they used to.

Yuzu is in his ‘Crystal Memories’ costume, sparkling like a diamond even in the weaker illumination of the restroom, a myriad little lights reflected onto his face. He is beautiful.

He is beautiful, and Javi  _ can’t do it _ , he can’t resist this anymore.

He loves Marina, he knows he does, but it is different – it is in his head, the way knowing vegetables are good for him is in his head even though he’s never been fond of their taste.

Marina is lovely, she is kind, she is a great woman to have by his side. But looking at her, Javi has never felt like this. Like he’s drawn inexorably into her arms, like just looking at her makes his mouth go dry, like she is  _ everything  _ Javi could possibly wish for. Like she understands him on some deeper, primordial level.

That feeling is reserved for the man standing in front of him now. For him, and him alone. 

Javi gives in.

He reaches out for Yuzu, for his waist. He feels the rhinestones, the smooth lycra, and underneath, the impossible heat of Yuzu’s body, seeping through the thin fabric into Javi’s palm.

Yuzu steps forward immediately, instinctually, melting into Javi’s touch like always, like it is the most natural thing for him to do.

For a split second Javi thinks they will hug, and so does Yuzu, judging by the way his arm comes up to curl around Javi’s back. But it is not enough, never enough, and in the last moment their trajectories change, and intersect.

Javi can’t believe it, can’t believe how right it feels, how their mouths slot together so perfectly, tongue finding tongue with effortless ease. He holds onto Yuzu’s waist, pulling him closer, molding their bodies together, and it is familiar, but also different, the way they are not keeping any appropriate distance anymore, pressing together urgently, Javi’s thigh sliding between Yuzu’s, making them both gasp at the friction.

It is everything. It is like falling, dropping into an abyss, and Javi knows that he will never be able to claw his way out again. He doesn’t think he wants to. 


End file.
